Revealed: The Secret 2020 GOP Health Care Plan: “TrumpCare PICK-AN-ORGAN”

It’s no secret. Republicans leak like a sieve. Or an old guy’s pecker.  So – without any further ado — here’s the GOP’s Top Secret Health Care Plan — Trump-Care ‘PICK-AN-ORGAN’: The Health Care ‘Plan’ designed for and by Trumpanistas.

Who wants to pay for health care YOU won’t ever get — or “might not” ever need?  Only a schmuck pays for other people, amiright?

Think of it THIS WAY:  You have lots of organs.  What are the chances any will ‘go south’ on you during your lifetime?  Your lungs?  Probably not — unless you smoke.  Your kidneys — You have two — you’re playing with house money.  Your heart?  Well, okay — that one could be a problem but if your heart’s going south on you — you’re pretty much toast anyway, right?

The point is, Trumpanistas, you’re too smart to INSURE organs you don’t need to — or are worth the risk NOT to insure.  And that’s why you’ll love ‘TrumpCare PICK-AN-ORGAN’ —

Pick An Organ Front Card

LUNGS

07_Organs_Lungs_Front.pdf_1600x

Odds are nothing will happen to either of em.  But you want to play it safe — so we offer options to allow YOU to decide:  Insure Neither Lung, One Lung or Both Lungs!

See?  Easy!  Now, of course, the trick is, if you insure just one?  Ya better hope like hell you insured the correct Lung — the one that’s gonna be needing insurance…

 

LET’S TALK INTESTINES!

human-intestines-sciepro

If you’re like the average Joe, you have LOTS of this stuff inside ya.  You have intestines to spare.  In fact, you have so much intestine you even have two kinds (I know — weird, huh?)   But do you really need to insure both?  Do you really need to insure ‘ALL’ of it?

And what about your APPENDIX?  You don’t even use it — hell you haven’t used it in millions of years.  Only an idiot insures something he can’t use — amiright?

 

I KNOW THAT’S MY LIVER BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ‘GREEN’ THING?

cartoon-of-human-liver-and-gallbladder-vector-7563173The Truth is — Outside of your heart and lungs, your stomach and your anus, you haven’t a clue how any of your plumbing works.  You know you HAVE a Liver and you remember somebody lecturing you once about alcoholism while you were passed out in a drunken stupor but that was so long ago.

Be that as it may — This is probably you:  “What in hell’s name is that green thing — and please don’t say I have one…!”

Yeah, you have one all right — and it costs a BOMB to insure it — IF you insure it…

 

YOUR SPLEEN — 1-2-3-ANSWER QUICKLY:  ‘WHAT’S IT DO?‘

human-spleen-visceral-surface-synthesizes-antibodies-53319933

 

Not a goddamned clue, amiright (and “The spleen ‘spleens’ ain’t it”)?

Here – we’ll even show you a spleen and point out all its bits.  Does THAT help?  No?

And you want to insure this WHY?

 

 

 

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ORGAN…

cerebro-humano

Insuring brains is expensive.  In fact, it’s SO expensive, you’d have to be crazy to pay the freight.  So why bother.

TrumpCare ‘PICK-AN-ORGAN’: ‘Hey — look at all the money YOU just saved!’

 

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Finally – The ‘Health Care’ Trumpanistas Deserve: “TrumpCare PICK-AN-ORGAN”

Hey, Trumpanistas — Still fuming over ObamaCare?  Still cursing the day your insurer was FORCED to insure your pre-existing condition without bankrupting you?  Still hating on having to pay for other peoples’ health care — including WOMEN?

Well TrumpCo has exactly what you’re looking for — a ‘health insurance’ plan that has the same grasp of what ‘insurance’ is as YOU apparently do — NONE!  Introducing, New Trump-Care ‘PICK-AN-ORGAN’: The Health Care ‘Plan’ designed for Trumpanistas.

Think of it THIS WAY:  You have lots of organs.  What are the chances any will ‘go south’ on you during your lifetime?  Your lungs?  Probably not — unless you smoke.  Your kidneys — You have two — you’re playing with house money.  Your heart?  Well, okay — that one could be a problem but if your heart’s going south on you — you’re pretty much toast anyway, right?

The point is, Trumpanistas, you’re too smart to INSURE organs you don’t need to — or are worth the risk NOT to insure.  And that’s why you’ll love ‘TrumpCare PICK-AN-ORGAN’ —

Pick An Organ Front Card

LUNGS

07_Organs_Lungs_Front.pdf_1600x

Odds are nothing will happen to either of em.  But you want to play it safe — so we offer options to allow YOU to decide:  Insure Neither Lung, One Lung or Both Lungs!

See?  Easy!  Now, of course, the trick is, if you insure just one?  Ya better hope like hell you insured the correct Lung — the one that’s gonna be needing insurance…

 

LET’S TALK INTESTINES!

human-intestines-sciepro

If you’re like the average Joe, you have LOTS of this stuff inside ya.  You have intestines to spare.  In fact, you have so much intestine you even have two kinds (I know — weird, huh?)   But do you really need to insure both?  Do you really need to insure ‘ALL’ of it?

And what about your APPENDIX?  You don’t even use it — hell you haven’t used it in millions of years.  Only an idiot insures something he can’t use — amiright?

 

I KNOW THAT’S MY LIVER BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ‘GREEN’ THING?

cartoon-of-human-liver-and-gallbladder-vector-7563173The Truth is — Outside of your heart and lungs, your stomach and your anus, you haven’t a clue how any of your plumbing works.  You know you HAVE a Liver and you remember somebody lecturing you once about alcoholism while you were passed out in a drunken stupor but that was so long ago.

Be that as it may — This is probably you:  “What in hell’s name is that green thing — and please don’t say I have one…!”

Yeah, you have one all right — and it costs a BOMB to insure it — IF you insure it…

 

YOUR SPLEEN — 1-2-3-ANSWER QUICKLY:  ‘WHAT’S IT DO?‘

human-spleen-visceral-surface-synthesizes-antibodies-53319933

 

Not a goddamned clue, amiright (and “The spleen ‘spleens’ ain’t it”)?

Here – we’ll even show you a spleen and point out all its bits.  Does THAT help?  No?

And you want to insure this WHY?

 

 

 

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ORGAN…

cerebro-humano

Insuring brains is expensive.  In fact, it’s SO expensive, you’d have to be crazy to pay the freight.  So why bother.

TrumpCare ‘PICK-AN-ORGAN’: ‘Hey — look at all the money YOU just saved!’

 

Stephen Miller’s FAVORITE ‘Dead Hooker Lasagna’ Recipe – You’ll LOVE It!

Stephen Miller - fascist

Terrible confession.  I’m a big Stephen Miller Fan.  I mean — how can you NOT be?  You couldn’t write this guy and get away with it.  He’s too preposterous, too outrageously, cynically Evil to endure any kind of character logic smell test:  Real People simply don’t do the intensely disturbing things Stephen Miller does.

And that includes a ‘Killer’ (Stephen’s joke, not mine) ‘Dead Hooker Lasagna’ Recipe.  May I share?

STEPHEN MILLER’S ‘DEAD HOOKER LASAGNA’ RECIPE

  1. Score a Hooker.
  2. Invite the Hooker back to your place cos it’s so much more comfortable there
  3. Back at YOUR PLACE, off the Hooker
  4. Drag the Hooker into your bathroom (or workroom in the back of Mom’s basement) and ‘dress’ (I know — ‘dress’ a Hooker?).
  5. Go to the supermarket.  Buy some pre-made lasagna.  Take it home.
  6. Put pieces of dead Hooker into the pre-made lasagna & stir.

Voila! “Stephen Miller’s Dead Hooker Lasagna”.  Serves however many you have enough dead Hooker for…

Next – Stephen Miller’s ‘Dead Hooker Meatloaf’ Recipe…

 

A Radical Idea: Let’s RE-NORMALIZE Telling The Truth

It’s astounding what we’ve come to ‘accept’ every day — the bullshitting and prevaricating and parsing of words and flat out LYING for no reason other than it’s the first impulse — to LIE first then BURY the Truth later.

Yes, not being entirely forthright or forthcoming is second nature to politics.  Most people, in fact CAN handle the Truth — Once they get over the initial shock wave.

Telling the Truth is like a muscle we’ve stopped exercising.  But it’s still there — waiting to be worked out and pushed hard.  It’s not easy or fun telling the Truth.  Often it’s risky.  But the alternative is catastrophe.  Truth itself has come un-tethered — not because we can’t discern it — we absolutely CAN — but because we’ve gotten out of the habit of doing the work of recognizing it and reporting it.

Here’s the fix — We RE-NORMALIZE ‘Telling The Truth’

I’m down with it.  You?

“Karma’s A Bitch” – MITCH MCCONNELL EDITION

Mitch McC

When the end of this story gets written, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will be seen as one of its Primo Villains. Mitch has taken hundreds of thousands of dollars from Russia (via his PACS — totally legal — until the context becomes TREASON). He’s worked hard, hard, HARD for his Republican Donor Class benefactors — the Koch Bros. He literally STOLE a SCOTUS pick from a popularly elected (and rightfully elected) POTUS in order to hand it to a POTUS ‘elected’ by Russia.

Mitch even went out of his way to keep all this a secret from We The People (the ‘Gang Of 8’ meeting at the WH — September 2016 — the IC informs 4 GOP Congressional leaders & 4 Democratic Congressional leaders that Russia is actively trying to swing the election to Donald Trump – and Mitch McConnell says that he won’t tolerate informing the American People – that he’ll insist Obama is ‘politicizing the intelligence’). Mitch insisted WE stay in the dark while his party conspired with a hostile foreign government to pull off a soft coup d’etat.

That’s some pretty awful Karma Mitch has created. Hmmmmmmm… Bet it means — when that Karma boomerangs — as Karma always does — that it will fly back at Mitch with a real vengeance.

Now, if I were ‘In Control’ of Karma — and I could create a ‘Karma Tree’ that would guide all of Mitch’s future incarnations — based on what he REALLY deserves — Mitch’s Karma would go something like this…

Mitch dies (hold off on breaking out the champagne — for now).  And he comes back as THIS — ‘Mitch McConnell:  Toilet Brush‘ —

A Toilet Brush or Mitch

But here’s the ‘rub’ — ‘MITCH THE TOILET BRUSH‘ lives HERE —

WORST TOILET

Yeah — even worse than ‘The Worst Toilet In Scotland’…

A lot worse, it turns out — because THIS is the REFUGEE CAMP where Mitch’s Toilet lives — and CHOLERA just broke out all across the camp…

Refugee Camp

Yeah — CHOLERA.

And there’s already a LINE to use Mitch’s Toilet (and every last person in line has EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA) —

line of refugees 1

  And that line goes on…

Line of Refugees 2

And on…

Refugees3

And on…

And STILL, it gets worse for Mitch — Cos THIS is the creature at the very endof that line…

Monster at end of line

And it doesn’t make ‘dainty’ piles like THIS —

pileofcrap

Nope — it produces an endless stream of foul-smelling poison as toxic as Mitch’s ‘soul’.

And just as Mitch sees how massive and unending that STREAM OF LIQUID SHIT IS

He wakes up — and realizes it was all in his head — A DAYDREAM!

And that makes Mitch happy (even happier than Koch Money does when it lines his pockets — and that’s a lot of happy).

Happy Mitch

Everything, Mitch realizes, is back to normal.  And he turns to go about what he was doing (before that awful daydream) and he reaches out TO SHAKE THE HAND of THIS MAN —

THE HANDSHAKE

And the KARMA TREE starts all over again…

Forever and ever and ever…

Karma — call me — I bet we can work something out…