People Who Can Laugh At Themselves Never Become Bullies

The joke was on Trump at the 2011 WH Correspondent’s Dinner; It’s been on us ever since

Think of a well-known bully: Donald Trump, for instance. While Trump loves being an entertainer and making people laugh, he’d never entertain his followers by making them laugh at him. Trump’s notorious for his inability to laugh at himself or to be the butt of anyone’s joke (as Barack Obama learned when he poked fun at Trump during the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner). Barack Obama, for comparison’s sake, CAN laugh at himself; in fact, he’s as notorious for being able to laugh at himself as Trump is for not being able to. No one considers Barack Obama a bully. That’s not a coincidence. Even a cursory glance at history proves the point. Hitler didn’t get famous as a painter — or as a guy good at telling jokes. Stalin wasn’t known to poke fun at himself. Nor was Pol Pot or Mao or Mussolini or any of North Korea’s ruling Kim family. Had any of them had a sense of humor, they would never have become monsters. Their sense of humor would have kicked in first; they would have laughed so hard at themselves for even thinking such a stupid thing that the idea would have died right there. Having a sense of humor is essential to having a healthy psyche.

When bullies like Trump or Vlad Putin laugh, it’s always AT someone, never with them. Trump savors other peoples’ pain and hardship. Others’ suffering excites him. His niece Mary Trump has personally experienced it.

Think about the ways Trump thinks one “gets” a laugh. He infamously mocked journalist Serge Kovaleski (who he knew and who’d interviewed Trump many times)

Back when Trump was president, occasionally his people would insist that some awful thing Trump said was just him “joking”. That was always especially galling. The press can’t get it through their heads that it’s not up to Trump or any racist whether or not they’re racist; racism is in the eye of the beholder, not the racist. Racists think their racism is justified; that’s why they’re the worst people to ask! Along those lines, allowing a bully to mischaracterize an act of bullying (that got caught) as him just “joking” — that also demands to be called out.

For starters, the evidence says clearly that Donald Trump has zero sense of humor. It goes without saying since he can’t laugh at himself — and if you can’t laugh at yourself, that’s the proof that you have zero sense of humor. As a matter of fact, it was probably Trump’s not having a sense of humor that prodded him over the line to run for president.

Trump hit the ground already compromised by Putin (a fact the entire GOP leadership knew was true — they even discussed it OUT LOUD a month before nominating Trump!) Putin’s another bully with no sense of humor — although Putin’s pretty good at sounding like he’s funny. Like all bullies, Putin and Trump surround themselves with lesser bullies. The world in their heads is all dog eat dog; humans are just different flavors of Alpo. But, what does an alpha bully di tutti bullies do when all the beta bullies suddenly turn on him? Surely the Big Bully can’t be too surprised when the lesser bullies turn on him or simply abandon the sinking ship. That’s what they would do.

Unfortunately for Vlad and Don, in their bully world, bullies who lose power often lose their lives either in the process or in its aftermath. Putin knows this for a fact. Trump’s about to learn that lesson the hard way. Trump would have been far happier had he lived out his days as the ordinary, bankrupt bully he was, a petty tyrant running a mom & pop money laundering & corruption shop. Playing with the big bullies will not end well for Trump. When his actions cause the downfall of all those other bullies? They won’t be happy until they’ve had a moment or two to personally tell Trump just HOW angry they are.

Unlike Putin, Donald Trump WILL face justice. There’s not stopping it now. It’s ludicrous for our news media to think Trump or the GOP has any political future. The FBI’s raid this morning on Rudy Giuliani’s home and office was the beginning of the Big Reveal. While the feds are going after Giuliani because of his relationship with Ukrainians, those Ukrainians are all Putin backers — which means they’re all assets owned outright by Putin. Like all roads, this one too LEADS TO RUSSIA.

Russia is the ultimate punch line here. It’s the payoff to the sick, awful joke that was the Trump presidency. The Trump presidency was the sick, awful culmination of the Republican Wet Dream of permanent minority rule. And what, after all, is the Republican dream of permanent minority rule than the biggest joke of all on the majority?

A Presidency Is Like A Four-Year Story Cycle — And America Is Done, Done, DONE With The Donald Trump Story

We didn’t need to preview “The Donald Trump Presidency” to know it was going to be a double-barreled dumpster fire that could only end horribly. Everything about the prequel to Trump’s presidency — his life — suggested he was a terrible businessman, a terrible husband, a terrible father, a terrible American and an even worse human being. His candidacy did not change one iota of our assessment. If anything, Trump’s presidency has proven that we underestimated his awfulness. By a factor of a million.

The Donald Trump story is about greed and malfeasance and corruption and treason. It’s about piggery and power lust. It’s about bullying and bullshit replacing common decency and stone cold truth. It’s about one of our two political parties finding enough common ground with a man they KNEW was treasonous to make him their presidential nominee anyway. It’s about bad guys running amok because the good guys let them for so long. Or, maybe that’s because the news media equated bad guys with good guys since “both sides do it”.

Nothing about it makes sense. It’s like a rabbit hole designed by a dunderhead. It was never going to make sense anyway but now, it’s completely incomprehensible.

What the hell is THIS?

Even the news media — incapable of judging Trump despite the wall of immorality he presented every day of his presidency — has given up on any pretense that this isn’t “bonkers” — a word CNN used to describe Trump. America — by a margin of SIX MILLION VOTES & COUNTING — voted to go another way (the way we actually voted to go four years ago!) We all agreed: it’s time to turn the channel on this show because it sucks.

Most Americans enjoyed the Barack Obama story. We survived the George W. Bush story but only just. The Donald Trump story started off bonkers and then got steadily crazier.

It’s taken “bonkers” to places even “bonkers” had never been to.

That’s one more feature the Republican Party to add to its “brand” (in addition to “CORRUPT”, “RACIST”, “MISOGYNIST”, “BIGOTED” and “TREASONOUS”) — “BONKERS”. Thanks anyway, GOP — We The People have had our fill of bonkers. We’re moving onto healthier fare.

Transcript Of The October 2, 2019 Meeting – The One INSIDE Donald Trump’s Head

The Scene – The White House Private Residence, The Bathroom

Donald Trump, his gold pajama bottoms bunched at his cankery ankles, tries again to squeeze  blood from a stone – in this case, a turd from his bloated abused gut.  It’s slow going as usual.  Donald’s mind wanders (as it does).  And a meeting is called…

Donald sits at The Resolute Desk in the Oval Office.  He punches the red intercom button. 

DONALD – Madeleine — tell everyone to get in here! NOW!

MADELEINE – Yes, sir!  On the double!

The Oval Office door opens.  In sprints IVANKA.  She stands at the door – keeping it blocked for a moment – she looks Daddy dead in the eye as only Ivanka can.\

IVANKA – Ballpark it for me.  Is it the Adderall bump?

DONALD – Could be a heart attack coming on for all I know. 

IVANKA – Except you don’t have a heart, daddy. 

A glance behind.  She can’t keep em out much longer.  Back to Daddy.  She’s feared it might come to this.

IVANKA – This is no time to lose your shit, old man, hear me? 

DONALD – (taken aback)  What?

IVANKA – You think Uncle Vladimir gives a shit that between your drug intake and the syphilis you’ve got less than half a brain left?  The job’s not finished.  Our mission is not accomplished.  (She can’t hold em back anymore).  The Truth won’t set anyone we care about free.

She steps aside, a matador dodging a bull.  DONALD, JUNIOR (JR), MIKE PENCE, BILL BARR, MIKE POMPEO & RUDY GIULIANI shove their way in – tripping over the carpeting.  They land in a massive heap.  Closing the door behind her, Ivanka steps into the room herself.

IVANKA – Get up, you idiots! 

JR (from beneath the pile of bodies) – Eric couldn’t make It! He got  his head caught in the toilet again. 

IVANKA – I’m talking about all of you!  I don’t even have balls and I can feel the heat on em.  The old Trumpian shit isn’t working like it used to.  They’re starting to realize that it’s shit. We need to think of something else before— (she catches herself) – before the fake news gets, you know, too fake or something.

RUDY – Honey, I don’t know how much crazier I can get.  That fact that I’m still walking around with a law license makes me want to cry.  Good thing we’re all as guilty as we are, amiright?  Otherwise I might start to worry one of us might, you know…

Rudy looks around at the others – expecting agreement.  No one will meet his eyes.

IVANKA – See the problem, Uncle Rudy? 

BARR – Wait a minute – I lied my double-wide ass off for you people!  I told factual lies about a document anyone could read to PROVE I lied about it—

POMPEO – Good thing no one DID read it – otherwise we’d all be in jail already.

RUDY – But we ARE getting away with it!  That’s all that matters!  We do whatever we have to do—

PENCE – Now, hold on there, Rudy – as a person of faith—

An explosion of laughter – that goes on… and on.  Mike sighs.  Waits for the laughter to stop.  It doesn’t.

PENCE – All right, I get it.  I’ll shut up about that—

IVANKA – Good, ya sanctimonious prick!  I’m sick of reminding you that Paul Manafort brought you to the dance and the second anyone with two brain cells figures out what that means, you’re even more screwed than you already are.

PENCE – It wasn’t nice of the President to throw me under the bus like that – um, with all due respect, Mr. President, of course.

IVANKA – Trust me, numb nuts – you were already under the bus – with tread marks all over your face.  (She looks at them all, a mob boss in training; she looks to daddy – a mob boss losing his shit)  Do you all not get it?  Do you not grasp what the hell is happening here?  Daddy is losing his nerve!

She might as well have said Daddy was Hillary Clinton.  Suddenly all eyes are on Donald.  Donald opens his anus mouth, ready to bluster away.  Except instead of words, ACTUAL SHIT emerges from Trump like sausage from a factory.

SMASH TO – TRUMP’S GOLDEN BATHROOM

Turns out Donald isn’t at the White House, he’s at Trump Tower — on his golden toilet. He’s been there for hours, asleep. Donald snaps to so suddenly, he loses his grip on his cell phone which falls right into the toilet bowl – SPLASH!

DONALD – Oh, shit—

Bad enough his cell phone fell into the toilet.  Much worse – Donald had been productive in the end.  To get his phone back, Donald will have to deal with his own shit.

SCENE