“Get over it” Is How Republicans Intend To Finish What They Started

Make no mistake – what the Republican Party pulled off election day 2016 was nothing less than a soft coup d’état. 

Recognizing that the nation’s demographics spelled certain political marginalization and doom, Republicans sought to impose permanent minority rule on America first by hijacking the judiciary (a mission Moscow Mitch McTreason started back when Obama was still POTUS.  Mitch did this by refusing to give Merrick Garland a hearing — and by refusing to let Obama fill most of the vacancies on the federal bench. With Trump in office, not only has Mitch scored two SCOTUS seats, he’s also jammed through horrible, deficient right wing candidates to fill all those seats Mitch previously refused to do anything about.

We were in a Constitutional Crisis the instant Trump took his oath of office while simultaneously violating it.  If swearing in a criminal – who KNOWINGLY betrayed the country even as he became its leader (under false pretense) – a criminal working for the country we’ve been at cold war with for 75 years – isn’t a Constitutional Crisis, nothing is.

Yesterday, Trump’s chief of staff Mick Mulvaney (a man who takes sycophancy to staggering new lows) gave one of the most amazing news conferences of all time.  He didn’t just confess (on behalf of Trump), he waved away any outrage We The People might feel with a brusque “Get over it”.

That’s rapist-speak.  “Get over” what I’ve just done to you.  What I’m doing to you still.  “Get over it”. Get over it why?  Because YOU don’t want to talk about it – or, worse, confess?

That’s what “get over it” really means.  I did it.  So what?

A rapist mid-rape couldn’t put it better.

That soft coup d’etat was a whole other kind of rape.  That was the Constitution being raped.  And the Rule Of Law.  It was the majority getting raped by the minority.

It was Republicanism and Trumpism sizing up the American electorate like Trump and Jeffrey Epstein taking in the pretty girls they ordered up for lunch. 

And when the girls say “no”, having agreed to one thing but nothing at all like this?  “Get over it” will be how Trump responds.  I’m having it anyway.  You might as well lie back and “enjoy it”. 

As if.

When Penises Attack

Let’s get naked about penises.  They’re designed (as it were) to penetrate.  For all our peacockery about cocks, a penis is nothing more than a DNA delivery nozzle.  Glorifying a man’s pecker is as absurd as glorifying a garden hose when it’s the garden he’s “watering” that should get our respect..

Male design specs encourage “squirt’n go” behavior.  Before humans figured out that sperm were microscopic flagellates, they imagined them as tiny humans.

In other words, men (since men got to do all the “imagining”) convinced themselves that when they penetrated a woman with their penises, what they were really doing was implanting the baby that would grow inside them.  The man, they believed, delivered the product while the woman served as its incubator and temporary digs.

Our thinking hasn’t changed all that much, has it?

Our culture doesn’t just celebrate the penis, it gives it extraordinary privilege.  Where the word “no” should be an absolute, we still see grey area as if an erection suddenly gave men two votes instead of one.  Not that it matters.  Where sex is concerned, anything shy of a unanimous “yes” (and that “yes” must be allowed to be fluid) becomes an instant “no”; the sex stops right there, right then.

The male orgasm is no more a right than is penetration.  The day we make the male orgasm mandatory in male-female sex should come only after we make the female orgasm mandatory.

Fact – female sexuality does not cause pregnancy, male sexuality does.  The female orgasm is unconnected to a woman’s fertility.  The egg in her fallopian tube can be fertilized regardless of whether or not the sperm swimming toward it had to broach the powerful waves of an orgasm first.  Men are 100% responsible for impregnating a woman.  Minus sperm – and that sperm’s penile delivery system – no woman would ever get pregnant – even if she actually enjoyed the sex that made her pregnant.

Whether or not a penis gets weaponized is entirely up to the man to whom that penis belongs.  And, of course, you don’t have to be a woman to be the victim of a weaponized penis.  As I’ve blogged here previously, the man who sexually assaulted me when I was 14 knew exactly what he was doing with his penis. 

And he knew that what he was doing with his penis – and with me – was wrong.  But a weaponized penis does the thinking for its owner.  A weaponized penis wants what IT wants.  And a weaponized penis, once unloaded, becomes a whole other kind of weapon – a psychological one. 

Though I was assaulted (twice) back when I was 14, those assaults continued to ripple across my life in myriad ways up to and including a depression deep enough to tempt me to suicide myself.   

Not every man is beholden to his dick.  Of course.  That’s where the hope comes from.  Fatherhood doesn’t actually require a penis — flowing, as it does, from our brains, not our nutsacks.

Pervs Of A Feather Perv Together: The Goal Of A Sexual Predator Is Destruction Of His Prey — As A Person

I feel like we’re living the opening moments of David Lynch’s movie “Blue Velvet”. We open on a vision of American bliss circa 1955 (or so) — A dad out watering the grass outside his slice of suburbia. The dad clutches his chest suddenly and collapses. As he lies on the ground, helpless, we push in on the grass beneath him. And it’s there where we find what’s really going on in this scene — it’s busy. It’s violent. And there’s rot all around. A terrific metaphor.

As a culture, we’ve been dominated by dicks from the start. That’s dicks, Dicks and “dicks”.

We’ve also been dominated by those dicks’ dicks. And therein lies our problem — a problem on its way to being mitigated by the flood of women seeking and acquiring political power. Their emergence as a viable, independent (multi-faceted) voting block has already changed America’s political landscape profoundly. While no one was looking, the emergence of America’s women as a force has already been acknowledged by America’s smarter boardrooms.

For all their right wing nuttery, The 21st Century Fox board of directors made it clear how clear they were that the 21st century world was different than the 20th century one when they fired Bill O’Reilly — their cash cow. Women had turned on O’Reilly. They were turning away from the brands that advertised on O’Reilly’s “The O’Reilly Factor”. Women had already become the chief decision-makers in most American households. Lose America’s women, you’re as good as done.

Most of the companies that advertised on O’Reilly’s show saw the handwriting. It was female — and it wasn’t coming back ever. Fox’s problem — women were on the verge of abandoning them completely. They tossed Bill O’Reilly overboard. O’Reilly, don’t forget, was/is a sexual predator who thought the workplace was a snack bar for his sexual peccadilloes.

If sexual predation was a mostly “black problem” — from the white point of view — we’d have fixed this already (racism would trump everything else). But, in our culture, sexual predation is a kind of male privilege. The more money a male has, the more predation he’s entitled to (apparently). The really, really rich predators? They can, per Donald Trump, pussy-grab at will.

Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein are “pervs of a feather”. That similar taste for “women on the younger side” (actually, we call them GIRLS because they are NOT YET women) should not be news to anyone — especially if they work in our less-than-observant main stream news media. A simple Google of Trump & “perversion” will score you millions of results and shitloads of irony.

While none of the women who’ve already come forward to tell their stories of being raped or assaulted or abused by Jeffrey Epstein and his friends have said “He took my humanity”, that is what each of their stories shouts. E. Jean Carroll’s brave confession in New York Magazine articulated that experience in detail, bringing us into the Bergdorf-Goodman dressing room right alongside her as Donald Trump literally raped her. To deny someone’s request to stop is to deny them. If the “no” in question is their personal space — or the plane of their body being violated — that is a denial of their personhood. The rapist — in this case Donald Trump — has placed his desire to put his penis where he wants — over the desires of his penis’ target. Donald Trump’s penis was more important to Donald Trump in that moment. Like every rapist’s penis, Trump’s mushroom dick had been weaponized.

Rape — like all sexual assault — is not sex. It’s violence. It’s assault and battery of both body and (here’s the important part) “soul”. As a survivor of a sexual assault when I was 14 (a thing I kept “secret” from myself for 45 years — it was a secret only in that I had failed to acknowledge what I k new for a fact had happened), I’ve got skin in this game. The man who sexually assaulted me did not see me as a “fellow human”. Though he never penetrated me, he saw me as nothing but a sperm receptacle. Under better circumstances (from his point of view), that is exactly what I would have become.

I guess I got lucky on that one.

But the man who assaulted me did leave a mark — a permanent one — on my psyche. He put me on an island alongside him — just me, him & our secret. If you didn’t know my secret, you didn’t really know me. And no one (not even me) was getting in on that secret. Nothing good can come of that. My secret nearly killed me. For real.

That — destruction — is the ultimate goal of a sexual predator. The moment I became healthy enough to confront what happened to me, I became a threat to mine. 45 years unfortunately was too long to do anything about it; my predator was already dead. But, had I found the strength to confront my truth and tell my story sooner — you see where I’m going. It’s better for the rapist that the evidence of his rape vanish. As rapists know though — a person doesn’t have to physically “vanish”. If you can vanish their personhood — it’s just as good.

We’ve got a front row seat now to how it all works. Trump has continued to deny that his rape victims were even good enough for him to stick his dick into. I don’t know about you, but saying “I save my rape for attractive women” makes it a thousand times worse. Never mind the fact that it’s bullshit. A college roommate’s dad once said of his son — a good friend of mine — that he’d “stick his dick in a snake”. Yeah — 99% of men at some point in their sexual life would have done that because our penises hold that much sway over us.

Every man has at least thought (even if still clothed) “Please — touch it” while sitting with or standing with an object of their desire. What they did or didn’t do to get their junk touched — that’s what separates the men from the boys from the pervs. A man looking for a sexual partner — as in someone with whom to experience sex WITH (as opposed to imposing sex upon) will always be adrift on a sea of doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes it’s hard to read another person’s messaging — especially when its ambivalent. The strict Rule Of Thumb has to be in the absence of a full-on, unequivocal “yes, I want to do this with you”, the answer is “no”.

Our peckers need to hear that “no” loud and clear.

Want To Know How & What A Rapist Thinks? Just Ask President Donald J Trump

I’m biased as hell here — I’ll own it. Being a sexual assault survivor, I have a particular loathing for rapists that I don’t think I’ll ever “get over”. I know rapist code. I know how they use implied power to coerce or force you into submission and then silence. I know how a victim thinks, too (unfortunately). Wish I didn’t. Victims think: “How can I say anything? Who would believe ME over THEM? The Truth doesn’t matter…”.

It’s not unusual for the assault victim to then flip it — and the whole terrible episode becomes their fault — like they concocted this, wanting this thing to happen to them. It’s utterly irrational. But it becomes the accepted explanation — so that, in a very real way, the sexual assault or the rape continues. The victim feels the rapist’s brutal touch every minute of every day (even if only subliminally).

Yeah — I loathe rapists. I loathe people who enable rapists — though I will cut them a teeny bit of slack. Not everyone knows they’re enabling a rapist. I don’t think the conservative Jewish congregation my family belonged to when I was growing up outside of Baltimore in the 1960’s knew that the “ritual director” working for them was a pederast. If anyone in the small hierarchy knew or suspected what my attacker was up to — I have giant issues. But, in the absence of any such knowledge, there’s your slack. They didn’t know.

I especially loathe people who stand by rapists — who stand with them and refuse to either acknowledge that a rapist is a rapist or — far worse — see no problem with rapists raping. They seem to have a law of the jungle dynamic in their mind — a bully’s Garden of Eden. Put enough of these rape-loving thugs together and voila! Rape Culture is born.

Donald Trump is The Poster Boy for Rape Culture. He’s the Poster Boy for Toxic Male Culture & Entitlement. Donald Trump earnestly believes he should be allowed to stick his wretched pecker anywhere he wants to with absolute impunity. There’s no such thing as “rape” in Trump’s mind — unless someone of color is doing it. Then all bets are off & all charges are filed.

In response to E. Jean Carroll’s credible, richly detailed (and contemporaneously reported — to friends) account of Donald Trump RAPING her in a Bergdorf-Goodman changing room 28 years ago, Trump never says “I find rape abhorrent! I am mortified that Ms. Carroll feels that way about our encounter and I want to do everything in my power to make it up to her”, no, he says “She’s not my type”.

In other words — If she WERE my type — hell, yeah, I raped her!

A RAPIST occupies the White House. So does a TRAITOR. So does a CAREER CRIMINAL.

How the hell did we let this happen to us? If you really want to know? We let Rape Culture live. We let Rape Culture dictate to us. What was the Brett Kavanaugh hearing BUT a painful example of Rape Culture having its way with us — again. We had a RAPIST crying crocodile tears because HE felt victimized for being called out AS A RAPIST.

It was impossible not to feel raped (or at least assaulted) that day.

It is impossible not to feel assaulted when a rapist replies to accusations of rape with “You’re not my type”.

If you don’t feel assaulted by that? The rapists are winning.