Dear Irony: Enough Already!

I like irony as much as the next guy — probably more than him. But even irony, it turns out, has its limits — or should.

Evangelicals praising a man Jesus would despise. The party of personal responsibility literally never taking any. A country racing to open back up for business even as the virus that will cause it to close down again — perhaps even starving it — races, unstoppable, through the heartland.

We get it! Everything in Trump World stinks of irony. And what’s ironic about that? Donald Trump himself can neither hear nor see irony. It’s as invisible to him as decency is. How do we know?

Irony requires a sense of humor in order to see it. The stark contrast — what a thing should be versus what a thing actually is — starts with oneself. If you can’t see the irony of your own circumstances, you can’t see irony period. In Donald Trump’s case, he can’t see the irony of his own lies — that every claim that he’s the best at something is demonstrably, ironically false because he’s the worst at it.

The irony overload isn’t helped a jot by a news media that, itself, is part of the irony. Ironically, America’s news media has no idea how badly they’re doing.

For instance — they still want to talk about Tara Reade (never mind that her story has changed repeatedly over time) and her accusations against Joe Biden. Have they shown anything like the same interest in the 20+ women who’ve accused Donald Trump of far worse — consistently and unwaveringly. And none of them are being represented by a lawyer who contributed to Trump and who have openly praised Vladimir Putin.

Oh, the irony.

We keep seeing — where Donald Trump’s corruption, deceit, treachery are concerned, there literally is no nadir — no bottom-most point where a rebound of some kind begins.

Irony in the Age of Trump feels equally bottomless. That was kinda funny — at first. Now, it’s not even remotely funny. Hmmmm… is that ironic? Quick — someone get Alanis Morissette on the phone!

Donald Trump Can’t “Do” Sarcasm Cos He Can’t “Do” Irony & He Can’t “Do” Irony Cos He Has NO Sense Of Humor

Trump proves every day that comedy is hard. Waaaaaay too hard for him.

Yesterday, Donald Trump — at his daily campaign rally that the news media broadcasts under the bullshit assertion that it’s got news or information in it — told America that we should try drinking bleach and sunlight to cure outselves of coronavirus. Anything just so we’ll “get back to work” instead of having the federal government prove that a Universal Basic Income is the only way out of this fiasco.

Donald Trump may be laughable but he’s the opposite of funny. While he can dress himself in comedy glitter — and make it seem like he’s in on the jokes he tells (when he imagines himself the King Of Comedy), Trump’s only good at making fun of others. That’s the easy part of comedy. But bullying isn’t comedy. It’s not funny either — and that’s what every bit of Trump’s making fun of other people is: bullying.

Having a sense of humor requires one basic thing in order to exist: one MUST be able to laugh at oneself. If you can’t see yourself as the butt of a joke (a mostly good-natured joke, of course), you can’t see jokes. You just like the idea of people hitting other people with words — so long as it’s not you. In his entire life, Donald Trump has never laughed at himself.

There’s real reason to believe that Trump’s decision to run for POTUS started on April 20, 2016, the night President Obama took a few good-natured swipes at The Donald during the White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

Witness a man with no sense of humor slowly stewing. It’s not up for debate. It’s not a matter of opinion. It’s not a question of proportion. Donald Trump has ZERO sense of humor. It’s just a fact of life. Of genetics.

Having no sense of humor, Trump is incapable of seeing irony — of seeing the irony in anything. Irony is the crisp slap of what one says a thing is versus what it really is. Donald Trump claiming he’s the victim of anything is ironic because Donald Trump is the ultimate victimizer. Trump himself can’t see it — because he can’t see himself as a victimizer. Or he refuses to admit that he is. Either way — that refusal to see (or laugh at) himself for what he really is — it’s the seriological test that proves Trump can’t even conceive of laughing at himself.

Without the capacity to even “see” irony, one is automatically excluded — by definition — from ever being “sarcastic”.

So — when Trump told the nation it was okay to drink bleach to cure coronavirus, he was being as serious as a heart attack — or another Trump crisis. The correct response really shouldn’t be to repeat Trump saying “I was just being sarcastic”.

The correct response SHOULD HAVE BEEN derisive laughter. “What? No, you weren’t being sarcastic — you can’t BE sarcastic. All YOU can be is cruel.” That’s what the press should have said.

Instead we’ll debate whether or not Trump was in fact being sarcastic. After we’re done, let’s argue whether bears shit in the woods and the Pope is Catholic.