“Karma’s A Stone Cold Bitch: Mitch McConnell Scorched Earth Edition”

Gulp! Moscow Mitch McConnell looks behind — sees Karma gaining on him fast! Inside his turtle head, he thinks “Please, Turtle feets, don’t fail me now!

Yesterday, Mitch McConnell got up on his turtle hind legs and insisted that if the Democrats dare tamper with the filibuster (to keep Mitch from killing all legislation) then he’d scorch the earth even worse than he’s already scorched it. If ever a turtle-faced traitor needed to have the words “SHUT UP!” howled in his treason turtle face, it’s Mitch. When we get to the end of this sorry-assed saga, Mitch McConnell will stand as one of American history’s uberest Uber-Villains. His name will replace Benedict Arnold’s as the epithet hurled when you want to call someone a “traitor”. If you want to know just how severely damaged Moscow Mitch is — he’s a lonely bully having his revenge on the rest of the schoolyard — read Jane Meyer’s excellent piece on Mitch in the New Yorker.

Mitch stands astride his greatest (possible) accomplishment — the hijacking of the judiciary by the RW Money (what Mitch sees as his actual constituency). For that alone, Mitch deserves every bit of Karma coming to him.

But there’s so much more Karma coming to Mitch. But for Donald Trump, there is no insurrection. But for Russia, Trump is never president. But for Mitch McConnell, Russia does not succeed as handsomely as it did. If I were ‘In Control’ of Karma — and I could create a ‘Karma Tree’ that would guide all of Mitch’s future incarnations — based on what he REALLY deserves — Mitch’s Karma would go something like this…

Mitch dies and comes back as “Mitch McConnell:  Toilet Brush” —

A Toilet Brush or Mitch

But here’s the ‘rub’ — ‘MITCH THE TOILET BRUSH‘ lives HERE —

WORST TOILET

Yeah — even worse than ‘The Worst Toilet In Scotland’…

A lot worse, it turns out — because THIS is the REFUGEE CAMP where Mitch’s Toilet lives — and CHOLERA just broke out all across the camp…

Refugee Camp

And there’s already a LINE to use Mitch’s Toilet (and every last person in line has EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA) —

line of refugees 1

  And that line goes on…

Line of Refugees 2

And on…

Refugees3

And on… And STILL, it gets worse for Mitch — Cos THIS is the creature at the very end of that line…

Monster at end of line

And it doesn’t make ‘dainty’ piles like THIS —

pileofcrap

Nope — it produces an endless stream of foul-smelling poison as toxic as Mitch’s ‘soul’. And just as Mitch sees how massive and unending that STREAM OF LIQUID SHIT IS

He wakes up — and realizes it was all in his head — A DAYDREAM!

And that makes Mitch happy (even happier than Koch Money does when it lines his pockets — and that’s a lot of happy).

Happy Mitch

Everything, Mitch realizes, is back to normal.  And he turns to go about what he was doing (before that awful daydream) and he reaches out TO SHAKE THE HAND of THIS MAN —

THE HANDSHAKE

And the KARMA TREE starts all over again…

Forever and ever and ever… Hey, Karma: Three, two, one — GO!

Do You Suppose, Down Deep, Mitch McConnell Is “Glad” Donald Trump Just Lost The Presidency?

One thing about Mitch McConnell: he may suck as a human being but he’s a very talented politician. If we consider Mitch from the Koch Brothers’ point of view (a little tricky since David Koch’s now dead), Mitch isn’t merely a great functionary, he’s a great one. Charged with hijacking the judiciary, Mitch delivered 300 lifetime federal judiciary appointments and the SCOTUS seat that should have been Merrick Garland’s.

Mind you, while Mitch appeared to be delivering all this extreme right wing goodness to Trump, Mitch’s actual client was the Kochs. And the Mercers and the rest of the RW money. To a cynical waste of carbon like Mitch, Donald Trump was merely a means to an end. And, now that he’s achieved his end — making a nine-member court hopelessly conservative for a generation and packed the federal bench with unqualified idealogues, Mitch would like to relax a little, settle in and enjoy his ill-gotten gains.

Alas, Donald Trump keeps opening his mouth. Or, that is, he used to anyway. Donald Trump is now officially an ex-employee of We The People. He failed his performance review spectacularly. When the counting finally does stop — because all the votes have indeed been counted — Trump will be on the LOSING END of the exact same 304-227 drubbing that HE proclaimed a “landslide”.

Also — when the counting stops (and California’s full totals are added in), it’s likely that Biden will have crushed Trump by close to 6 million votes.

It’s over. Let’s stick a pin in what happens between now and January 20 when Trump “officially” officially stops being POTUS. Trump won’t concede; no one expects him too. The transition period is a question mark because Trump has no intention of peacefully transferring power. He simply can’t afford to. Legally.

Now let’s look at it from Moscow Mitch’s point of view. You’ve just held onto the Senate despite a number of races where the polling said the Senate would flip. The polling reflected the way Donald Trump was dragging down you and your whole Senate team. If only there was a way to get rid of Trump, say by way of him losing an election you seem to “win”.

Trump losing the election to fall from power works perfectly for Mitch. Let’s be quite real — there is no love lost between Mitch and Trump. Trump makes Mitch’s job exponentially harder. Everything comes with stuff said out loud that shouldn’t have been. And that brings reporters and questions and, when you’re as corrupt as Mitch is, reporters and their questions are anathema to you.

I bet Mitch and the Republican Senate leadership actually looked each other in the eye and openly decided to do whatever they had to to protect themselves this election cycle, screw Trump. The mandate for Mitch going into this election wasn’t to get Trump re-elected, it was to hold onto the Senate so that Joe Biden and the Democrats couldn’t shove their agenda down the Republicans’ throats in the same way the Republicans had been doing it to Democrats forever.

What did Moscow Mitch do to hold onto power? Was the polling “off” again? Or, like in 2016, is there another, better explanation than mysterious “Trump voters” who lie to pollsters to explain how literally ALL the polls “missed”? Yes, Trump got out his vote. But keep in mind who we’re talking about. There is literally nothing Trump and the Republicans won’t do to hold onto power up to and including cheating — because of the alternative. It’s not just being out of power, it’s being out of power and having legal problems. That’s the stick.

There was nothing Mitch did that Trump didn’t undermine. If Mitch wasn’t such a racist, treasonous scumbag, I might feel a little sorry for him. Mitch’s problem is of his own making. He wants Trumpism without the relentless “chazzerei” (that’s the technical term in Yiddish) that’s baked into Trump himself.

Hmmmmm… what if Mitch figured out a way to “protect” himself and his own re-election along with the re-elections of all his most valuable (and vulnerable) foot soldiers: Susan Collins, Lindsey Graham, Tom Tillis? Keep in mind, Trump told his faithful NOT to vote by mail but to vote on the day via a voting machine. Now, from Trump’s point of view (assuming Trump was this smart), that would create the illusion of a red mirage — as all the live votes got counted while we waited for the more Biden-friendly early votes and mail-ins to get counted. The mirage, of course, was just a mirage once ALL the votes got counted. Still — Trump’s point of view is all chaos is good.

But, the problem with relying on voters to do your dirty work is they’re notoriously unreliable. Unpredictable, too — and if you need to “win” regardless of how the people vote, it helps to have friends who own companies that make voting machines (like Diebold, ESS, the McCarthy Group — companies in which you own an equity stake!) The only completely unhackable voting system is a paper, hand-marked ballot. The second any voting system connects to a phone or the internet, it becomes hackable. If it’s got programmable elements, those elements can be re-programmed and made to change or even transmit the votes it’s supposed to be tabulating as a neutral third party.

How hard would it be, Mitch must have wondered, to drop a little code into the the machines in, say Maine where Susan Collins was polling behind Sara Gideon or North Carolina where Thom Tillis was polling well behind Cal Cunningham. What if that code instructed the voting machine to add a second Republican vote to every fifth vote it counted. That way, every five Republican votes becomes six. Ten becomes twelve, fifteen becomes eighteen. Before long, a surprise wave of Trump voters has shown up — where none actually did.

And no one — unless they do forensics on the machine before its data can be wiped — would ever be the wiser. There would literally be no proof that a crime had been committed.

Would Mitch McConnell think such a thing about such an imperative? Do Treason Turtles shit wherever Treason Turtles shit? You’re damned right they do!

Here’s my bet: no one was happier to see Trump lose the election — while also being as duplicitous as Trump.

When Justice comes for Mitch, it might even stop for a moment to chuckle with Mitch at what he pulled off. Then it will pronounce judgment on Mitch and that will be that.

Oh, What A Tangled Web We Weave When We’re A Corrupt Treason Turtle

When the story of our times gets written — with the perspective of history — Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will be infamous as one of America’s worst traitors ever. Moscow Mitch’s name will replace Benedict Arnold’s as the epithet Americans use to call other Americans “traitor”. Mitch still thinks he’s on a grand crusade to re-cast the judiciary as the last bastion of white, Christian male hegemony.

That grand plan isn’t Mitch’s. Mitch McConnell doesn’t do grand plans. He’s a functionary. A petty politician doing the dirty working for Big Money Interests. The Big Money has the grand plans — an unfair world where they all get richer while the rest of us fall further behind, our debt growing, our health failing.

Mitch is their bitch. His job — manifest these terrible, repressive, regressive grand plans into our reality.

That’s why Mitch worked so hard to deny Barack Obama all those federal bench openings. It’s why Mitch denied Obama so much as a hearing for Merrick Garland. Mitch was in the middle of pleasing his masters — of hijacking the judiciary on the sly. Here’s the thing: the popular vote reflects the majority’s voice. Barack Obama was the majority’s voice and choice — to fill every judicial vacancy during his tenure. Our voice and choice was denied us by Mitch McConnell — for the benefit of his masters. That is not hyperbole.

And this is not how our democracy is supposed to work. Not according to the rules or the rule of law.

In addition to destroying the judiciary, Mitch also has destroyed the Senate. Anyone suggesting the Democrats aren’t showing enough comity toward their Republican co-workers needs to shut up. Comity will be reserved for whatever party replaces the Republicans. No one who calls himself “A Republican” can do so without also being a Trumpist. Trumpism & Republicanism are now equal in every way.

Mitch has operated in the shadows for most of his career. He’s about to end his career in the spotlight. That is, his corruption is.

The Democrats are about to retake the Senate. What was a likelihood before is now a dead certainty. RBG’s passing — even without all the additional political baggage — would have moved people to action. It would have motivated tens of millions of women at the very least. Now it’s a question of Legacy. And reproductive rights. And basic health.

What happened in 2018 — that massive blue “wave” — wasn’t a wave. It was the leading edge of a much larger wave. The Trump years have torn every last bit of cover off our various failings. Remember — we didn’t vote for this, this was forced on us. Donald Trump — with massive Russian assistance — stole the outcome of election 2016. Together they stole our intention — what WE wanted this country to do for our benefit and in our name. Their aim is to make that theft permanent.

Their problem: America’s women aren’t down with and aren’t going to be. Ever. That’s Mitch McConnell’s biggest miscalculation of all.

Mitch, when he’s done, will have finished the hard work of turning America’s women into the most potent, dynamic, unstoppable political force in America. He’ll be shocked by how socialist they are by nature. Of course women are more “socialist” — they care above all about their babies and they KNOW from pure experience that it DOES take a “village” to raise a child — of family members and community members and teachers and mentors and coaches and friends. The healthier and happier that village is, the healthier and happier their babies will be.

Women — and I’m generalizing, but biology does impact us in particular ways — think communally — and seek the group’s wisdom before making a decision while men think they alone can fix it. If we look at the current world leaders and how they’ve handled the pandemic, the women — Angela Merkle in Germany, Jacinda Ardern in New Zealand — did especially well in both protecting their people but also protecting their economies.

I’ll go further onto this limb. Merkle and Ardern’s success relative to Trump’s stems in large part from their political and personal strengths and skills but also, to a measurable degree, from their chromosomes. They have a little more empathy baked into their genetics. That radiates in the form of humanity — and then policy.

America truly stands on the precipice. We will go one way or the other. There’s no middle route.

Either Mitch McConnell will see the rot he introduced succeed or Mitch will fail spectacularly with dire, terrible consequences for every single Republican legislator who had the least inkling what Mitch was up to. Keep in mind — Mitch is a traitor. That’s not hyperbole either. He’s taken gobs of Russian money into his campaign coffers (though legally via his PAC but not-so-legally with added perspective), denied We The People the knowledge that Russia was fixing the 2016 election for Trump, canned the sanctions Obama implemented BECAUSE of that election interference and TO THIS DAY has refused to spend a penny on election security.

Mitch McConnell is one of the biggest traitors in all American history. And THAT isn’t hyperbole.

It’s vitally important that we not only punish Mitch McConnell for what he’s done but that we punish him to the very fullest extent the rule of law allows. We need to make an example out of Mitch for all time. We need to send the lesson that, perhaps, would have been sent had we punished Richard Nixon instead of pardoning him — abuse of power (especially at the executive level) is wholly unacceptable.

Mitch is already the architect of his own downfall. We owe it to Mitch to see that those plans get carried out all the way.

The SCOTUS Should Look Like America, Not Just Repressive, White, Christian Men And Their Handmaiden

Fact: the Republican Party is, as we speak, hijacking the judiciary. What began as Mitch McConnell’s secret mission — begun the day Barack Obama became POTUS — became clear the day Trump assumed the office he stole as Mitch began filling the federal bench with lifetime appointments — each and every one a right wing hack put there to carry out a very specific right wing agenda — the majority of America (not right wing) be damned. By hijacking the judiciary, McConnell and the Right Wing Money (the Kochs, the Mercers, etc) hope to stave off the political extinction rushing toward them.

Hey, Mitch — no, it won’t. In fact, this coup d’etat will have hastened not only your extinction but the end of your freedom, too. You will all end up in prison. That’s not political revenge — and you know it. It’s the rule of law reasserting itself. It’s oversight. It’s the Constitution. It’s Justice (with a capital “J”). And, by the way — all those judges you shoved down our throats? By the time we’re finished, every last one of them will be gone one way or another. Most (Brett Kavanaugh especially) will have to answer for committing perjury during their confirmation hearings. As Brett Kavanaugh did repeatedly.

The whole gambit will die right there, Mitch. Your six-to-three majority will shrink to a five to four again. But that won’t matter after the Democrats — having the Senate now and even more of the House under their control (and with the Progressive crazies running rampant!) — increase the SCOTUS to 15 or 17 seats so that it better represents a diverse America and not just a coterie of rich, white, Christian men. And their brand new literal handmaiden Amy Coney Barrett.

Will the Democrats pack the bench? You better believe it. But then, the Democrats won’t do it like pigs at a trough — like Republicans. Remember Merrick Garland — Obama’s nominee in an election year? The whole thing about Garland was his moderation. He was chosen as a reasonable reach-across-the-aisle to the GOP, someone whose moderation even they could embrace. Except Mitch McConnell had a hijacking on his mind. He even said so.

Mitch’s whole Life’s Work was seizing the judiciary for his monied overlords. As he rots in prison (and we should do everything we can to keep Mitch alive for as long as possible), Mitch will watch that Life’s Work get razed — right alongside that Russian aluminum factory he got in exchange for lifting the sanctions on Oleg Deripaska — who, in 2016, received the proprietary polling data for Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania (from Paul Manafort) that turned into a three-state, 77,000 combined electoral college “win”. Mitch isn’t just a traitor, he’s an uber traitor.

His name will replace Benedict Arnold’s as the epithet Americans use when they want to call someone a “traitor”.

Ah, but that’s not even the best part!

The whole point of Mitch’s gambit — stealing the judiciary for his RW Monied Overlords — was to create a state of permanent minority rule instead of the far more socialized America a diversifying population in an increasingly complex world would push it toward being. The right wants to kill Obamacare because it’s the first step toward “socialized medicine”. THAT’S what scares the right more than anything. Are they all that heavily invested in for-profit medicine?

As America settles into the security of knowing their essential health CARE (not the insurance) is PAID FOR — in other words, they can never go broke or lose their home because the got ill — we won’t thank Mitch and his wannabe slave masters, but we will chuckle. And, as we think of them — eating prison dinner for the rest of their lives — that chuckle will probably become full on laughter.

Yeah, there’ll be a touch of meanness to it. I’ll apologize in advance. But, for the most part? That laughter will be joyous — and righteous as hell.

“Karma’s A Stone Cold Bitch: Moscow Mitch Edition”

Gulp! Moscow Mitch McConnell looks behind — sees Karma gaining on him fast! Inside his turtle head, he thinks “Please, Turtle feets, don’t fail me now!

When we get to the end of this sorry-assed saga, Mitch McConnell will stand as one of American history’s uberest Uber-Villains. His name will replace Benedict Arnold’s as the epithet hurled when you want to call someone a “traitor”. If you want to know just how severely damaged Moscow Mitch is — he’s a lonely bully having his revenge on the rest of the schoolyard — read Jane Meyer’s excellent piece on Mitch in the New Yorker.

Mitch stands astride his greatest (possible) accomplishment — the hijacking of the judiciary by the RW Money (what Mitch sees as his actual constituency). For that alone, Mitch deserves every bit of Karma coming to him.

But there’s so much more Karma coming to Mitch. Remember — Mitch knew when he refused to let Obama tell the American people that Russia was actively working to make Trump president that Russia was actively working to make Trump president. He was trying to keep Russia’s secret secret from us. Mitch could stop what Trump is doing any time Mitch wants to.

If I were ‘In Control’ of Karma — and I could create a ‘Karma Tree’ that would guide all of Mitch’s future incarnations — based on what he REALLY deserves — Mitch’s Karma would go something like this…

Mitch dies and comes back as “Mitch McConnell:  Toilet Brush” —

A Toilet Brush or Mitch

But here’s the ‘rub’ — ‘MITCH THE TOILET BRUSH‘ lives HERE —

WORST TOILET

Yeah — even worse than ‘The Worst Toilet In Scotland’…

A lot worse, it turns out — because THIS is the REFUGEE CAMP where Mitch’s Toilet lives — and CHOLERA just broke out all across the camp…

Refugee Camp

And there’s already a LINE to use Mitch’s Toilet (and every last person in line has EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA) —

line of refugees 1

  And that line goes on…

Line of Refugees 2

And on…

Refugees3

And on… And STILL, it gets worse for Mitch — Cos THIS is the creature at the very end of that line…

Monster at end of line

And it doesn’t make ‘dainty’ piles like THIS —

pileofcrap

Nope — it produces an endless stream of foul-smelling poison as toxic as Mitch’s ‘soul’. And just as Mitch sees how massive and unending that STREAM OF LIQUID SHIT IS

He wakes up — and realizes it was all in his head — A DAYDREAM!

And that makes Mitch happy (even happier than Koch Money does when it lines his pockets — and that’s a lot of happy).

Happy Mitch

Everything, Mitch realizes, is back to normal.  And he turns to go about what he was doing (before that awful daydream) and he reaches out TO SHAKE THE HAND of THIS MAN —

THE HANDSHAKE

And the KARMA TREE starts all over again…

Forever and ever and ever… Hey, Karma: Three, two, one — GO!