If I Were “Benevolent Dictator”, Here’s How It Would Be…

No one sees it coming, least of all me. Just like that — political leaders across the world & spectrum get the fates they deserve. The World’s eyes (getting REALLY desperate) turn to me of all people.

“Dude,” the World says, “We’re totally screwed. The ball’s yours if you want. Got anything?”

“Okay,” I say after a long, thoughtful beat. Here’s the deal I want:

  1. My job title: “Benevolent Dictator”. It’s not up for discussion. Now here’s the thing — no one has to call me this. In fact, I’d rather they didn’t. It’s a little OTT. I just need the World to understand that, until my work is finished, that’s who & what I am.
  2. My pay — zero. It ain’t about the money. If I do MY job correctly, money will land in my pocket through a thousand different streams (all of them 100% legit).
  3. What I Want — The End of CRONY CAPITALISM. That’s another non-negotiable point. We need to rethink almost everything about our culture. More exactly, we need to start SEEING our culture for what it is, for what it must be and for what it can never be again. Money is not our problem, GREED is. Greed undermines capitalism more than an army of communists and socialists. Take THAT to the bank.
  4. What I Want (continued) — A return to HUMAN DECENCY as the basis for how we view one another — and more importantly how we treat one another. For starters, we bury the ludicrous notion that America is “a Christian country”. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution are larded with Humanist thought born of the French Enlightenment. There’s far more Jean-Jacques Rousseau in our foundational docs than there is Jeremiah. To that end, we recognize religious texts as literature, not history and definitely not a basis for morality. We have science to cover the “nuts & bolts” of how we got here and CRITICAL THINKING to cover the rest.
  5. What I Want (Continued) — We put every fact we have about Donald Trump & the Republican Party on the table. We admit to ourselves what the Republican Party tried to do to us — install permanent minority rule; even though they hated Donald Trump, they cynically hitched their shit-wagon to him despite knowing he was bought & paid for by Russia — because THEY, too, were bought & paid for by Russia. And Saudi Arabia & the UAE & Israel (and who the hell knows who else).
  6. What I Want (Continued One Last Time) — We retrain our news media as far away from Both Sides Do It journalism as possible. We make selling False Equivalences career suicide. We return critical thinking & especially PERSPECTIVE to all journalism school curriculum.
  7. What I REALLY Want — As quickly as I can, I will remove as many men as possible from positions of power. Those that remain will have to demonstrate that they really do know how to play well with others. That means no unilateral “I alone can fix it” toxic male thinking. Deal breaker. I insist that we hand as much governmental power as they want over to women (African American women especially — if not for them, this Democratic Republic would have been toast years ago). I’m not saying women are perfect — though, as Benevolent Dictator I could — I’m just saying they cannot possibly do worse than men. And to make sure men don’t ruin what women try to do with their unhelpful suggestions — I want to give women the purest shot we can. Once women are ready to rock ‘n roll? I’m handing over the reins of power.

That’s my deal. I’m ready to sign — and get to work — whenever YOU are, World…

How About If, Today, We Declare Independence From BULLSHIT!

It seems a natural thing to want to be INDEPENDENT from — BULLSHIT.

Yet, look around you and ‘witness’ all those who are SLAVES to BULLSHIT — especially their own.

Turns out we all carry around our own bullshit like it was a box of LPs from College that we know we should get rid of but don’t.  Fer Pete’s sake — we don’t even own a record player any more!

Our Nation is deep in the throes of a Bullshit Addiction.  It came upon us so suddenly we didn’t even realize we’d become addicted.  Hell — we didn’t even know the stuff we were eating WAS Bullshit — and that it was so addictive.  I bet that was because it was our Bullshit.

But it’s not ‘The Nation” as a whole that has this problem — it’s a segment — the one that’s White, Christian and Male.  They’re the ones who’ve become so intent on shoving THEIR Bullshit down the rest of the country’s throat. They believe that their culture — White, Christian & Male — is such a superior culture that it transcends even REALITY.  They believe that their extreme, Jesus-hating brand of Christianity — IS Christianity.  And they believe it is their purpose to impose that abomination on a country (ironically) founded on principles that specifically opposed what these Christians are doing.

America — conceptually — is a product of The French Enlightenment — of a period of explosive intellectual thought, all of it reveling in the idea that Man is, in fact, not bound by some Man Creature In The Sky.  The Founders of our country saw the promise (and peril) in giving the citizens of this new nation previously unimaginable freedoms — just for being ‘who’ they are:  Americans.

Part of the process of becoming a Great Nation is ‘mythologizing’ your origins and your original players to the point where they become abstractions that shorthand who you are as a nation.  George Washington is equal parts real human and abstraction.  The abstraction has become our Foundation Myth.

While White, Christian, Males of English Descent held the reins of power at the Nation’s founding, they did not represent the makeup of the population.  The idea that America is ‘A White, Christian Male Nation’ run by White Christian Males was never the Truth. It started as bullshit and caused us to undermine the Greatness of our own Concept:  We instilled SLAVERY in our Constitution.  One of the greatest human documents ever produced was compromised by a BULLSHIT belief that some humans are, in fact, NOT equal.

That, of course, is BULLSHIT.

Time has come to call it what it is — to call ALL OF OUR BULLSHIT out for ‘being’ BULLSHIT — and vow, as a Nation — to do everything in our power to see it for what it is.

On this Independence Day — I hope you’ll all join me (the Americans anyway) to vow to remove BULLSHIT from our diet.  To refuse to allow it at our tables.  To ‘conveniently forget’ to invite them to pool parties.

Let’s put a moratorium on Bullshit and promise each other to refuse, going forward, to get suckered in by ANYTHING that comes flying in from that homicidal, hopped up on hatred folks who call themselves ‘Right’ Wing.

Never has a word been more painfully ironic…