Never Mind The Icing, How’s The Damned Cake?

Ever order a piece of cake somewhere because the icing looked enticing — and then you got to the cloying, overly-sugared cake underneath and the whole experience went to hell in your mouth? It’s a little like false advertising, isn’t it? And, frankly, where cake is concerned? It’s always about the cake. The icing’s just… icing. News headlines can be that way — especially when they’re “breaking”. The flashing red looks awfully fresh. Too bad the news story cake underneath is more than a day old and staler than a Republican’s breath. Republican politics are all icing too. Every single restrictive voting law Republicans just shoved down our throats was covered in “ballot box integrity” icing that was clearly rotten. Personally, I blame our news media and its icing addiction for a lot of this problem. If we had kept to news outlets like, say, The New Yorker that have always been about cake over icing, we might have had a clearer idea of what the Donald Trump cake really was and is. It may look like a perfect piece of chocolate cake — Donald’s preference — but, beneath the icing? Hell lurks.

In cakes as in news stories, the devil absolutely is in the details. A cake made entirely of bullshit is going to taste entirely of bullshit. Same goes for cakes made of racism, lies, corruption, deceit and treason.

When Trump came down that golden escalator — like his gold toilet upstairs, a Trumpian triumph of icing over cake — and informed us that “Mexicans are rapists”, he told us exactly what kind of cake he was. When, shortly thereafter, he added “pussy grabbing” to the mix, he further cemented his cake’s true nature. And yet, our news media got distracted by another bit of icing: “her emails!” As we all know — there was literally NO CAKE beneath that icing.

While our news media went bananas over Hillary Clinton’s icing — ignoring the cake again (especially the parts where she repeatedly told us exactly who and what Donald Trump was) — the Trump cake, already rotten from within, began to metastasize into something beyond cake. Despite constant signs that the Trump cake was corrupt… treasonous… toxic — our news media continued to report on the icing that Trump was a “normal POTOUS” albeit one who did things “differently” or “his way”.

Ever since Trump lost, our news media has continued to eat the Republican icing that what they’re doing is politics. It isn’t. When you attempt to overturn the results of an election because you lost, that’s not political behavior, it’s CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR — done for a political reason. Icing v cake, right? But, every time our news media serves up a slice of Margorie Taylor Greene as if she was a legitimate politician instead of a criminal seditionist, they’re selling us amusing, bullshit-scented icing instead of the toxic cake within that’s going to kill us.

Our news media’s reaction to the fall of Afghanistan was pure icing over cake. No argument — that was some awful icing. But it was very much a part of the cake underneath and, in the case of Afghanistan, if you want to “appreciate” the icing, you absolutely must appreciate every last speck of the cake. Joe Biden may have pulled the cake from the oven — with its icing already on fire — but he didn’t bake this cake. In fact, Joe Biden (look it up!) preached against us even making this cake (the nation-building part). And, once you scrape off the icing, the first thing you see is how “orange” the cake is. Oh, wait — that’s not orange, it’s facial makeup. There’s a face inside that cake and it’s Donald J Trump’s.

With news — as with life — it would behoove us all to make false advertising, non-breaking “breaking news” and deceptively iced cakes go away. We’d all benefit, too, if Republicans went away. Until such a thing happens, I’d be willing to accept if they’d just ice themselves a little more honestly. Want to know what’s really lying inside any Republican’s soul? This — exactly what the icing says: