The Correct Answer Is Men Need To Get The Hell Out Of The Way So Women Can FIX What Men Have Done

Seems our biology has caught up to us.  Men have abused female biology forever and that abuse has brought the human species to a moment of absolute peril.

Yes, I absolutely believe that had women been running the course of human events instead of men, we would be in a far, far different place than we are today. We wouldn’t be stuck between the rock and hard place that Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and every other tinpot dictator on the planet have put us in. We wouldn’t be teetering on the brink of destruction because Donald Trump has issues with his teeny-weeny weenie.

Men think having penises makes them strong? Oy. Just… OY!

Having a womb, men decided, makes women weak.  Again — OY!

Anyone who’s ever witnessed childbirth knows how bullshitty that is.  Think any male on the planet could survive childbirth without medication?  Men, if they bore the babies, would brag about the length and pain of their labor the way they brag about their dick size now.  That’s a stone-cold fact.

No woman would ever say “I alone can fix it” because she knows – her biology guiding her – that it’s virtually impossible to bear and raise a child all by yourself.  Starting with the “bearing” part.  Yes, it’s possible for a woman to bear a child herself – it happens all the time.  But both mother and baby are incredibly vulnerable.  They need others entirely to survive.  Female biology quietly states the absolute truth: no one, male or female, can do anything alone. 

Human beings are social creatures who depend on the group for survival.  The idea of rugged individualism is very romantic – and very male.  But it’s 90% nonsense.

That rugged individual – even if he’s a genius – can’t realize or exploit his genius without the human society around him making that happen.  And, just as important, pretty much every genius stands on the shoulders of the geniuses who came before him (or her).  Even their “genius” wasn’t achieved alone.

Save, reliable birth control changed the game completely for women; it gave them the means to prevent their biology from side-tracking other plans they might have.  Keep in mind – female sexual pleasure doesn’t result in pregnancy, male sexual pleasure does.  A woman doesn’t have to orgasm to get pregnant – and she can orgasm a million times – without fear of ever getting pregnant.  It’s only when a male orgasms – inside a woman – that pregnancy becomes a distinct possibility.

The male orgasm is what “fixes it” for the woman.  Men can (and do) squirt-n-go.  A man in his prime can impregnate a woman a day if he wants to.  He could walk around with dozens of babies with his DNA and never even know it.  Women?  Doesn’t work that way.

Male culture fosters an environment where alpha dogs rise and beta dogs bow down.  Female culture (I’m generalizing but not a whole lot) fosters a collective environment (someone has to hold your baby while you eat, go to the bathroom, shower) that carries over to all other decision-making processes.  But female biology still dictates.  Women (again, I’m generalizing but not a whole lot) tend to hate it when their babies suffer, get hurt or worse, die.

Having carried a baby, fed it with her body and then been part of its everyday life, mommies look at the world differently than even a good, caring father.  It’s biological.  Inescapable.

Because they think of themselves first, men are naturally better at being greedy.  Women can be great at it too.  But the data set we have – the history of human beings – says men have made collecting things (money, power, women) part of their skill set. 

I don’t know for sure that women will do better at running things than men have.  They can’t possibly do worse.  FFS – male leadership has been so short-sighted it’s destroying the whole planet. 

Human abuse of the environment smacks of “squirt-n-go” thinking.  We keep creating someone else’s problem – by the time the baby arrives (in our case, an uninhabitable planet), we’ll be somewhere else, looking to stick our dicks inside some other planet.  In our minds anyway.

When Penises Attack

Let’s get naked about penises.  They’re designed (as it were) to penetrate.  For all our peacockery about cocks, a penis is nothing more than a DNA delivery nozzle.  Glorifying a man’s pecker is as absurd as glorifying a garden hose when it’s the garden he’s “watering” that should get our respect..

Male design specs encourage “squirt’n go” behavior.  Before humans figured out that sperm were microscopic flagellates, they imagined them as tiny humans.

In other words, men (since men got to do all the “imagining”) convinced themselves that when they penetrated a woman with their penises, what they were really doing was implanting the baby that would grow inside them.  The man, they believed, delivered the product while the woman served as its incubator and temporary digs.

Our thinking hasn’t changed all that much, has it?

Our culture doesn’t just celebrate the penis, it gives it extraordinary privilege.  Where the word “no” should be an absolute, we still see grey area as if an erection suddenly gave men two votes instead of one.  Not that it matters.  Where sex is concerned, anything shy of a unanimous “yes” (and that “yes” must be allowed to be fluid) becomes an instant “no”; the sex stops right there, right then.

The male orgasm is no more a right than is penetration.  The day we make the male orgasm mandatory in male-female sex should come only after we make the female orgasm mandatory.

Fact – female sexuality does not cause pregnancy, male sexuality does.  The female orgasm is unconnected to a woman’s fertility.  The egg in her fallopian tube can be fertilized regardless of whether or not the sperm swimming toward it had to broach the powerful waves of an orgasm first.  Men are 100% responsible for impregnating a woman.  Minus sperm – and that sperm’s penile delivery system – no woman would ever get pregnant – even if she actually enjoyed the sex that made her pregnant.

Whether or not a penis gets weaponized is entirely up to the man to whom that penis belongs.  And, of course, you don’t have to be a woman to be the victim of a weaponized penis.  As I’ve blogged here previously, the man who sexually assaulted me when I was 14 knew exactly what he was doing with his penis. 

And he knew that what he was doing with his penis – and with me – was wrong.  But a weaponized penis does the thinking for its owner.  A weaponized penis wants what IT wants.  And a weaponized penis, once unloaded, becomes a whole other kind of weapon – a psychological one. 

Though I was assaulted (twice) back when I was 14, those assaults continued to ripple across my life in myriad ways up to and including a depression deep enough to tempt me to suicide myself.   

Not every man is beholden to his dick.  Of course.  That’s where the hope comes from.  Fatherhood doesn’t actually require a penis — flowing, as it does, from our brains, not our nutsacks.

Of Peckers & Peccadilloes — What IS It About Men & Their “Manhood”?

Things that begin with the letter “P” — Peculiar… Powerful… Pederast… Pervert… Penis.

Peckers, too. And Peccadilloes.

One of the stories that’s already bubbled up in the Jeffrey Epstein saga is his apparent need for a minimum of three orgasms a day. On the one hand, I do admire the man’s capacity. On the other hand — dude, take care of business yourself if it’s that urgent — and get some therapy; you’re addicted. The question is “to what?”

I suspect that, in too many men’s minds, sex gets conflated with power whereas it should be conjoined to love. Even if you’re not in love with a sexual partner, it’s nice if you at least like them. Better yet, respect them. It says something about YOU when you regularly have sex with people YOU don’t respect.

The bottom line about male sexuality is this — by our very nature, we’re “squirt-n-go” creatures. Our orgasm, pleasurable as it is, is 100% reproductive. Everything about the male orgasm focuses on getting our DNA from inside our nutsack to the inside of a female where, if all goes to genetic plan, our sperm will race toward a waiting egg.

What happens after that — to a male — is almost entirely irrelevant. He may rise to the challenge and become a great father but that’s entirely up to him. He could just as easily squirt n go. As lots of men do.

Women, on the other hand, can orgasm all they like — without it ever making them pregnant. Their orgasm, as far as we know, is all about pleasure. They don’t even have to have an egg in the chamber, ready for fertilization, to have orgasms by the bucket. But if a man ejaculates inside of them — achieves his orgasm without any protection — and there is an egg in the chamber? That’s a whole other story.

No woman would ever speak the words “I alone can fix it” as Donald Trump has repeatedly. Trump’s not the only man to think that way about himself. A dude driving around lost, refusing to ask for directions, suffers from the exact same delusion. Female biology necessitates communal thinking instead. While it’s possible to bear and raise a child alone, doing it alone makes success highly unlikely for either parent or child. Even a woman without a mate still needs the better part of a village to successfully raise a child.

Stories about twisted female sexuality are fascinating as much for the twisted sexuality as for how unusual they are (most often it’s a female school teacher and a boy she fixated on). Most stories about twisted sexuality are all about men. Catholic priests, for instance. The man who sexually molested me when I was 14 (I’ve learned about him that he grew up the youngest boy in a group of Yeshiva boys trying to outrun WWII where he was likely bullied and sexually assaulted himself). Jeffrey Epstein — and every man who partook of the underage action Jeff provided.

A cultural shift is happening as we speak. We’re finally dis-empowering the penis. It’s about damned time. Men who think with their penises have made a mess of the planet and civilization.

Just because your pecker says it wants something doesn’t mean it gets the thing it wants. There are rules even a penis has to follow. Penises have to ask permission to go places. If a vagina or a mouth or a rectum agrees unconditionally to a penis coming for a visit? That penis has permission.

BUT — all permission is conditional. Penises must behave at all times — and a misbehaving penis (a penis NOT playing by the agreed-upon rules) is a penis who deserves to be expelled.

By the way, a well-behaving penis is also a responsible penis. If there’s a dress code — raincoats required — all penises are therefore required to dress before gaining entry. Whining and cajoling are bullshit.

If the male of the species is ever going to be fully civilized — I hold out hope though not much — he’s going to have to learn to get good at another “M” word — “masturbation”. Men need to learn that every single urge they feel CAN in fact be dealt with directly. And, hey — contrary to what our various religions taught us, masturbation’s actually healthy.

How’s this for irony — what men need to learn MOST about their own sexuality? “I alone can fix it”.

Pervs Of A Feather Perv Together: The Goal Of A Sexual Predator Is Destruction Of His Prey — As A Person

I feel like we’re living the opening moments of David Lynch’s movie “Blue Velvet”. We open on a vision of American bliss circa 1955 (or so) — A dad out watering the grass outside his slice of suburbia. The dad clutches his chest suddenly and collapses. As he lies on the ground, helpless, we push in on the grass beneath him. And it’s there where we find what’s really going on in this scene — it’s busy. It’s violent. And there’s rot all around. A terrific metaphor.

As a culture, we’ve been dominated by dicks from the start. That’s dicks, Dicks and “dicks”.

We’ve also been dominated by those dicks’ dicks. And therein lies our problem — a problem on its way to being mitigated by the flood of women seeking and acquiring political power. Their emergence as a viable, independent (multi-faceted) voting block has already changed America’s political landscape profoundly. While no one was looking, the emergence of America’s women as a force has already been acknowledged by America’s smarter boardrooms.

For all their right wing nuttery, The 21st Century Fox board of directors made it clear how clear they were that the 21st century world was different than the 20th century one when they fired Bill O’Reilly — their cash cow. Women had turned on O’Reilly. They were turning away from the brands that advertised on O’Reilly’s “The O’Reilly Factor”. Women had already become the chief decision-makers in most American households. Lose America’s women, you’re as good as done.

Most of the companies that advertised on O’Reilly’s show saw the handwriting. It was female — and it wasn’t coming back ever. Fox’s problem — women were on the verge of abandoning them completely. They tossed Bill O’Reilly overboard. O’Reilly, don’t forget, was/is a sexual predator who thought the workplace was a snack bar for his sexual peccadilloes.

If sexual predation was a mostly “black problem” — from the white point of view — we’d have fixed this already (racism would trump everything else). But, in our culture, sexual predation is a kind of male privilege. The more money a male has, the more predation he’s entitled to (apparently). The really, really rich predators? They can, per Donald Trump, pussy-grab at will.

Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein are “pervs of a feather”. That similar taste for “women on the younger side” (actually, we call them GIRLS because they are NOT YET women) should not be news to anyone — especially if they work in our less-than-observant main stream news media. A simple Google of Trump & “perversion” will score you millions of results and shitloads of irony.

While none of the women who’ve already come forward to tell their stories of being raped or assaulted or abused by Jeffrey Epstein and his friends have said “He took my humanity”, that is what each of their stories shouts. E. Jean Carroll’s brave confession in New York Magazine articulated that experience in detail, bringing us into the Bergdorf-Goodman dressing room right alongside her as Donald Trump literally raped her. To deny someone’s request to stop is to deny them. If the “no” in question is their personal space — or the plane of their body being violated — that is a denial of their personhood. The rapist — in this case Donald Trump — has placed his desire to put his penis where he wants — over the desires of his penis’ target. Donald Trump’s penis was more important to Donald Trump in that moment. Like every rapist’s penis, Trump’s mushroom dick had been weaponized.

Rape — like all sexual assault — is not sex. It’s violence. It’s assault and battery of both body and (here’s the important part) “soul”. As a survivor of a sexual assault when I was 14 (a thing I kept “secret” from myself for 45 years — it was a secret only in that I had failed to acknowledge what I k new for a fact had happened), I’ve got skin in this game. The man who sexually assaulted me did not see me as a “fellow human”. Though he never penetrated me, he saw me as nothing but a sperm receptacle. Under better circumstances (from his point of view), that is exactly what I would have become.

I guess I got lucky on that one.

But the man who assaulted me did leave a mark — a permanent one — on my psyche. He put me on an island alongside him — just me, him & our secret. If you didn’t know my secret, you didn’t really know me. And no one (not even me) was getting in on that secret. Nothing good can come of that. My secret nearly killed me. For real.

That — destruction — is the ultimate goal of a sexual predator. The moment I became healthy enough to confront what happened to me, I became a threat to mine. 45 years unfortunately was too long to do anything about it; my predator was already dead. But, had I found the strength to confront my truth and tell my story sooner — you see where I’m going. It’s better for the rapist that the evidence of his rape vanish. As rapists know though — a person doesn’t have to physically “vanish”. If you can vanish their personhood — it’s just as good.

We’ve got a front row seat now to how it all works. Trump has continued to deny that his rape victims were even good enough for him to stick his dick into. I don’t know about you, but saying “I save my rape for attractive women” makes it a thousand times worse. Never mind the fact that it’s bullshit. A college roommate’s dad once said of his son — a good friend of mine — that he’d “stick his dick in a snake”. Yeah — 99% of men at some point in their sexual life would have done that because our penises hold that much sway over us.

Every man has at least thought (even if still clothed) “Please — touch it” while sitting with or standing with an object of their desire. What they did or didn’t do to get their junk touched — that’s what separates the men from the boys from the pervs. A man looking for a sexual partner — as in someone with whom to experience sex WITH (as opposed to imposing sex upon) will always be adrift on a sea of doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes it’s hard to read another person’s messaging — especially when its ambivalent. The strict Rule Of Thumb has to be in the absence of a full-on, unequivocal “yes, I want to do this with you”, the answer is “no”.

Our peckers need to hear that “no” loud and clear.

It’s Time To end “The Cult Of The Penis”

It’s a biological fact: Penis-People have it way easier than Vagina-People.

Biology is destiny — or, it has been so far — and, as the evidence indicates, it’s killing us. I’ve argued here before (so I’ll thumbnail it in this post) that women know intrinsically that one cannot bear and raise a child alone. One could — but the odds are stacked against mother and child thriving or even surviving. As Hillary Clinton said, “It takes a village”. Yes, it does. It absolutely does.

Women rely on community for survival. Communities make group decisions (no group ever says “I alone can fix it”.) Men, on the other hand, contribute only one sperm to the process. They don’t even have to be there when the sperm gets introduced to the vagina where the intended egg lives. A turkey baster can fill in just fine.

In fact, women don’t even have to have an orgasm in order to procreate whereas men absolutely do. Lots of men wouldn’t know a real (as opposed to simulated) female orgasm if they actually saw one (which would be on film only — trust me, they’ve never been in a room where it’s happening). The male orgasm is 90% external (I’m giving 9% to the pump action & 1% to the “feels good” in terms of its actual reproductive usefulness) .

Male biology is completely “squirt-n-go”. We have no emotional attachment to our issue. Our nature is to “squirt-n-go” as many places as we can — to spread our genes as far and wide as possible. Our culture celebrates that fact. Does anyone look at James Bond and think “Man, have you ever put a wrapper on that thing? Have you ever asked the thousands of women you’ve been with if THEY’RE protected (both from pregnancy and whatever STD’s your well-traveled dick must have been exposed to)?”

Certainly not! Consider all the images we have that do double duty as penile stand-ins — bananas, popsicles, trains entering tunnels (example – the final shot of Hitchcock’s “North By Northwest”).

If we tried to find an image to do double duty as the vagina and its orgasm, it would look like a quadratic equation.

If women had been running things since the dawn of time, the last thing on earth we’d celebrate is either the penis or its spew. Instead we’d celebrate the mystery of the female orgasm. We’d teach young men how to see that it’s their purpose to solve that mystery — which means, first and foremost, knowing the woman at the mystery’s core. Squirt-n-go need not apply. In fact, it needs to go.

The fact that a picture definition scumbag like Jeffrey Epstein isn’t already rotting in the worst prison we can conjure is a testament to the fact that there IS a “Cult Of The Penis”. Powerful men, as we keep learning, walk around with weaponized penises. They think they’re entitled to put their pecker wherever their pecker wants. The only people who’d go along with that bullshitty thinking are the owners of those offending peckers, their enablers — and their unwilling victims.

It’s the enablers who make up the “Cult Of The Penis”.

We all know who they are.

Male Thinking Explained (Warning: You Won’t Like It)

They may come for my Male Card for writing this — screw em! The time has come to man up about how men “man up”: it’s all in our minds.

No woman would ever speak the words “I alone can fix it” because every woman knows that’s utter bullshit. No one can fix anything alone. No one can do anything alone (except wander across a wilderness). Women know this biologically. They know they can’t bear a child and raise a child by themselves. Both mother and baby will surely die. Part of the maternal instinct is knowing — you’ll need at least one other person to survive. More support equals better chances of survival. More support still and both mother and baby can thrive.

It’s a very female instinct to think it takes a village to raise a child. That instinct is borne of deep-seated knowledge. Trust it. It speaks a core Truth.

Now, here’s the thing — that needing a village thing? It’s the diametric opposite to how men think. How men think starts with our biology, too. Yes, we’re all about our dicks, we men, but we’re all about our dicks because we’re really all about our sperm. Our biologic imperative (aside from eating, shitting and dying) is to reproduce. It’s hard-wired into the genome. How we reproduce is to put our sperm in proximity to a female’s egg. Insertion helps. A big dick assumes more efficient delivery of sperm to egg. In our minds, it probably assumes more better sperm too.

We’re the Wolf in the Red Riding Hood story, already in bed, dressed up as Grandma — even though, strangely, Grandma’s got her penis in her hand… “What a big penis you have, Grandma.” “The better to impregnate you with, sweetheart.”

At the very core of male thinking is that imperative — how do I put my sperm someplace else? Once placed, of course, the male is free to move on. In essence, nothing ties him to whatever comes of him coming. If he was a sociopathic asshole — like, say, Donald Trump — he could pick & choose what of his “leavings” gets to go full term. Kinda like now.

I really, REALLY hate to say this but just like Donald Trump epitomizes Republicanism (sociopathic, hypocritical, corrupt-to-the-core, utterly lacking in principles or integrity, committed only to gaining & holding power even if it means committing treason), he also epitomizes being male. In a blown way out of proportion (well, it’s Trump, isn’t it) but not as much as you think kind of way. “I alone can fix it” is not uniquely Trumpian — as Trumpian as it is.

The cocksmanship? C’mon, boys — we all know what that’s like. We all wish, down deep, we could be that instantly attractive. No one really wants to work for their supper. Everyone wants to be indulged — especially that way.

What’s more? Donald Trump epitomizes the male “Squirt-n-Go” dynamic. Of course it applies sexually. Bottom Line Donald — he’s a rapist. The ultimate squirt-n-Go-er. His sperm isn’t just conquest, it’s brutality. It’s fully weaponized sperm. But Trump doesn’t just Squirt-n-Go with his toxic seed. He does it with bullshit, too.

Trump spews bullshit with the same ease he spews semen. He can swing his dick in your face without taking it out of his pants — though he loves to pull it out — despite its tiny size.

That Truth about men is already public knowledge: Men lie about their size.

Now you know why.

Want To Know How & What A Rapist Thinks? Just Ask President Donald J Trump

I’m biased as hell here — I’ll own it. Being a sexual assault survivor, I have a particular loathing for rapists that I don’t think I’ll ever “get over”. I know rapist code. I know how they use implied power to coerce or force you into submission and then silence. I know how a victim thinks, too (unfortunately). Wish I didn’t. Victims think: “How can I say anything? Who would believe ME over THEM? The Truth doesn’t matter…”.

It’s not unusual for the assault victim to then flip it — and the whole terrible episode becomes their fault — like they concocted this, wanting this thing to happen to them. It’s utterly irrational. But it becomes the accepted explanation — so that, in a very real way, the sexual assault or the rape continues. The victim feels the rapist’s brutal touch every minute of every day (even if only subliminally).

Yeah — I loathe rapists. I loathe people who enable rapists — though I will cut them a teeny bit of slack. Not everyone knows they’re enabling a rapist. I don’t think the conservative Jewish congregation my family belonged to when I was growing up outside of Baltimore in the 1960’s knew that the “ritual director” working for them was a pederast. If anyone in the small hierarchy knew or suspected what my attacker was up to — I have giant issues. But, in the absence of any such knowledge, there’s your slack. They didn’t know.

I especially loathe people who stand by rapists — who stand with them and refuse to either acknowledge that a rapist is a rapist or — far worse — see no problem with rapists raping. They seem to have a law of the jungle dynamic in their mind — a bully’s Garden of Eden. Put enough of these rape-loving thugs together and voila! Rape Culture is born.

Donald Trump is The Poster Boy for Rape Culture. He’s the Poster Boy for Toxic Male Culture & Entitlement. Donald Trump earnestly believes he should be allowed to stick his wretched pecker anywhere he wants to with absolute impunity. There’s no such thing as “rape” in Trump’s mind — unless someone of color is doing it. Then all bets are off & all charges are filed.

In response to E. Jean Carroll’s credible, richly detailed (and contemporaneously reported — to friends) account of Donald Trump RAPING her in a Bergdorf-Goodman changing room 28 years ago, Trump never says “I find rape abhorrent! I am mortified that Ms. Carroll feels that way about our encounter and I want to do everything in my power to make it up to her”, no, he says “She’s not my type”.

In other words — If she WERE my type — hell, yeah, I raped her!

A RAPIST occupies the White House. So does a TRAITOR. So does a CAREER CRIMINAL.

How the hell did we let this happen to us? If you really want to know? We let Rape Culture live. We let Rape Culture dictate to us. What was the Brett Kavanaugh hearing BUT a painful example of Rape Culture having its way with us — again. We had a RAPIST crying crocodile tears because HE felt victimized for being called out AS A RAPIST.

It was impossible not to feel raped (or at least assaulted) that day.

It is impossible not to feel assaulted when a rapist replies to accusations of rape with “You’re not my type”.

If you don’t feel assaulted by that? The rapists are winning.