Republicans Believe “Every Sperm Is Sacred”

Strange, isn’t it? With conservatives, it always comes down to gonads. Now, I’m not saying every conservative is sexually repressed – Hot Tub Johnny Bolton was notorious for being unrepressed in a crazed, sex party kind of way. But, as a party, Republicans sure do spend a lot of time thinking about other peoples’ reproductive organs. They have zero problem telling women their bodies become subordinate to a fertilized clump of cells growing inside them. Republicans don’t care how the fertilizing sperm got there. That ain’t their problem. In fact, to them, that semen has more legal standing than the woman. Even if that semen came from a rapist. What Monty Python satirized about the Catholic Church has become anti-abortion policy across red America. It’s just a stone cold fact: Republicans believe every sperm is sacred.

That “Ol’ Time Religion”

Want to get good and disgusted? Read the story of how evangelicals and fundamentalists took up the “pro-life” cause. They’re love for “unborn babies” was born of racism. In America, the religious right has always used their Bibles to justify their worst behavior, slavery in particular. They used their Bibles to justify anti-miscegenation laws and segregation because their Jesus only does unto others who look exactly like him.

In the 1970’s, after Roe became law, the religious right was adrift. They needed a cause. Something with which to rally the troops. The sudden surge in abortions provided an opening. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that making abortion legal produced a surge in legal abortions.

But then, we have never had an honest debate about abortion because one side can’t be honest about why it’s having the debate.

When Satire Dies

The same happened with Trump while he was still POTUS. Towards the end of Trump’s presidency, SNL had a hard time making Trump funny because, frankly, he wasn’t funny anymore. What Trump was doing to America wasn’t funny anymore either. It still isn’t. The Republican Party has picked up the mantle – especially on abortion rights. They’ve stripped out all facts and let their feelings run amok. To judge them solely by their actions, Republicans now believe that “every sperm is sacred”.

Republicans now transcend satirization.

Republican Representative Madison Cawthorn talks up Republican sex parties. They’re the best sex parties he’s ever been to!

Satire works by exaggerating things. Blowing them up to absurd proportions that expose their hollow soullessness. Republicans keep blowing themselves up to absurd proportions that expose their hollow soullessness. It makes satirizing them impossible. They’ve already become the joke. Alas, the funnier Republicans get in the absurd, the less funny (and more dangerous) they become in reality.

Ripple Effects

Writing laws that give rapists parental rights? Forbidding abortion even to ten year old rape victims? Criminalizing miscarriages? The ripple effects of this are already hurting lives across America. Ah, but here’s where it suddenly gets funny again. The far right’s over-reach is already haunting them. If red Kansas won’t for for this nonsense, neither will most of America.

Oh, sure, plenty of red states will continue down this road. But the ultimate irony is this: the thing Republicans have aborted with this folly is their own future. Most of America’s women regardless of their political affiliation don’t want what the GOP is selling. It doesn’t matter one bit what happens in normal off year elections. We don’t live in “normal” times.

The Republican Party has set itself up for failure – and oblivion. They won’t go with a bang. No, it will be much more in the “whimper” territory. Or even just a dull thud as the Republican Party finally crashes into the ground.

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