One thing about Mitch McConnell: he may suck as a human being but he’s a very talented politician. If we consider Mitch from the Koch Brothers’ point of view (a little tricky since David Koch’s now dead), Mitch isn’t merely a great functionary, he’s a great one. Charged with hijacking the judiciary, Mitch delivered 300 lifetime federal judiciary appointments and the SCOTUS seat that should have been Merrick Garland’s.

Mind you, while Mitch appeared to be delivering all this extreme right wing goodness to Trump, Mitch’s actual client was the Kochs. And the Mercers and the rest of the RW money. To a cynical waste of carbon like Mitch, Donald Trump was merely a means to an end. And, now that he’s achieved his end — making a nine-member court hopelessly conservative for a generation and packed the federal bench with unqualified idealogues, Mitch would like to relax a little, settle in and enjoy his ill-gotten gains.

Alas, Donald Trump keeps opening his mouth. Or, that is, he used to anyway. Donald Trump is now officially an ex-employee of We The People. He failed his performance review spectacularly. When the counting finally does stop — because all the votes have indeed been counted — Trump will be on the LOSING END of the exact same 304-227 drubbing that HE proclaimed a “landslide”.

Also — when the counting stops (and California’s full totals are added in), it’s likely that Biden will have crushed Trump by close to 6 million votes.

It’s over. Let’s stick a pin in what happens between now and January 20 when Trump “officially” officially stops being POTUS. Trump won’t concede; no one expects him too. The transition period is a question mark because Trump has no intention of peacefully transferring power. He simply can’t afford to. Legally.

Now let’s look at it from Moscow Mitch’s point of view. You’ve just held onto the Senate despite a number of races where the polling said the Senate would flip. The polling reflected the way Donald Trump was dragging down you and your whole Senate team. If only there was a way to get rid of Trump, say by way of him losing an election you seem to “win”.

Trump losing the election to fall from power works perfectly for Mitch. Let’s be quite real — there is no love lost between Mitch and Trump. Trump makes Mitch’s job exponentially harder. Everything comes with stuff said out loud that shouldn’t have been. And that brings reporters and questions and, when you’re as corrupt as Mitch is, reporters and their questions are anathema to you.

I bet Mitch and the Republican Senate leadership actually looked each other in the eye and openly decided to do whatever they had to to protect themselves this election cycle, screw Trump. The mandate for Mitch going into this election wasn’t to get Trump re-elected, it was to hold onto the Senate so that Joe Biden and the Democrats couldn’t shove their agenda down the Republicans’ throats in the same way the Republicans had been doing it to Democrats forever.

What did Moscow Mitch do to hold onto power? Was the polling “off” again? Or, like in 2016, is there another, better explanation than mysterious “Trump voters” who lie to pollsters to explain how literally ALL the polls “missed”? Yes, Trump got out his vote. But keep in mind who we’re talking about. There is literally nothing Trump and the Republicans won’t do to hold onto power up to and including cheating — because of the alternative. It’s not just being out of power, it’s being out of power and having legal problems. That’s the stick.

There was nothing Mitch did that Trump didn’t undermine. If Mitch wasn’t such a racist, treasonous scumbag, I might feel a little sorry for him. Mitch’s problem is of his own making. He wants Trumpism without the relentless “chazzerei” (that’s the technical term in Yiddish) that’s baked into Trump himself.

Hmmmmm… what if Mitch figured out a way to “protect” himself and his own re-election along with the re-elections of all his most valuable (and vulnerable) foot soldiers: Susan Collins, Lindsey Graham, Tom Tillis? Keep in mind, Trump told his faithful NOT to vote by mail but to vote on the day via a voting machine. Now, from Trump’s point of view (assuming Trump was this smart), that would create the illusion of a red mirage — as all the live votes got counted while we waited for the more Biden-friendly early votes and mail-ins to get counted. The mirage, of course, was just a mirage once ALL the votes got counted. Still — Trump’s point of view is all chaos is good.

But, the problem with relying on voters to do your dirty work is they’re notoriously unreliable. Unpredictable, too — and if you need to “win” regardless of how the people vote, it helps to have friends who own companies that make voting machines (like Diebold, ESS, the McCarthy Group — companies in which you own an equity stake!) The only completely unhackable voting system is a paper, hand-marked ballot. The second any voting system connects to a phone or the internet, it becomes hackable. If it’s got programmable elements, those elements can be re-programmed and made to change or even transmit the votes it’s supposed to be tabulating as a neutral third party.

How hard would it be, Mitch must have wondered, to drop a little code into the the machines in, say Maine where Susan Collins was polling behind Sara Gideon or North Carolina where Thom Tillis was polling well behind Cal Cunningham. What if that code instructed the voting machine to add a second Republican vote to every fifth vote it counted. That way, every five Republican votes becomes six. Ten becomes twelve, fifteen becomes eighteen. Before long, a surprise wave of Trump voters has shown up — where none actually did.

And no one — unless they do forensics on the machine before its data can be wiped — would ever be the wiser. There would literally be no proof that a crime had been committed.

Would Mitch McConnell think such a thing about such an imperative? Do Treason Turtles shit wherever Treason Turtles shit? You’re damned right they do!

Here’s my bet: no one was happier to see Trump lose the election — while also being as duplicitous as Trump.

When Justice comes for Mitch, it might even stop for a moment to chuckle with Mitch at what he pulled off. Then it will pronounce judgment on Mitch and that will be that.