I was in therapy a bit before Donald Trump stole the presidency. I was deep in my own depression then — headed toward self-destruction. My emotional radar was tweaked especially high. So many things triggered me.

Election Night 2016 is its own “Day that will live in infamy”. I suspect I’m not alone in feeling that way — that this wasn’t just an electoral loss, it was an invasion. It was an unwelcome imposition of something We The People did not, in fact want — or vote for. We didn’t vote for this. Not the majority of us.

We’ve got some big reveals coming. The biggest (Don Trump Jr was subpoena’d by the SENATE Intel Committee — run by REPUBLICAN Richard Burr — which smart, always-spot-on reporters like Seth Abramson point to as key) will probably take us right back around to the counter-intelligence part of the program — the part where hard proof exists that 1) Donald Trump conspired with Russia to win the presidency, 2) the entire Republican Party hierarchy knew it — in one way or another (including merely suspecting it was true), and 3) that includes the part where even Trump’s Electoral College win is as much a fraud as his finances are.

This morning, Mitch McConnell shoved another extreme RW judge down the throat of a state that did not want that judge. The normal protocol says those states are entitled to “blue slip” — refuse — those judges. But the point of the exercise IS judges and has always BEEN judges.

The GOP realized at the end of the Reagan years that the demographics were going against them forever more. Republicans historically do worse when more people vote — which strongly suggests that if the entire American electorate voted, the country would lean far more to the left than we think it does.

The reason we feel like America is more progressive than we act is because the PEOPLE are, by and large, more progressive. But, because so many progressive-leaning people don’t vote regularly, the image we have reflects a less progressive population — a false image. The 2018 mid-term was a strong repudiation of Trump and republicanism. It wasn’t the same-old, same-old voter blocs doing the repudiating. It was the youth vote. And Latinos. And, especially, a strong, dedicated African-American vote — especially, especially African American woman.

If not for African American women, this republic would be toast already. We owe them a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid.

If there’s a group of people who know what it’s like to be under assault — almost constantly — it’s African American women. Their demand for Justice in the face of relentless injustice is the pilot light inside our collective rage.

I am a sexual assault survivor. I denied that fact — that I had been sexually assaulted — for 45 years. To myself. But I always knew it was a fact. I’m hypomanic. The inside of my head (controlled by a mood stabilizer and lots of THC) is like a black box theater (think a shoebox — black inside — turned upside down). At all times a dozen or so things are being projected on the walls, the ceiling the floor… black & white, saturated color, sepia — old movies — ideas for stories — thoughts and notions. There are laser lights to and audio and holographic pop-ups. The THC acts like a scrim — dropping down over most of it, allowing me to focus on a few of the entertainments.

This secret I was keeping was like a light shining inside a file inside a drawer inside a closet at the back of an office situated up a long, high set of stairs at the far, far back corner of the black box theater. It was always there. Always on. Always a fact of my life.

I know what it feels like to be assaulted. I know what the aftermath is like. I know what assault can do to you over time — even if you deny it ever happened. I know what calling out that assault can do for you — it can save you. I know what recovering feels like too — and it’s wonderful.

And it’s do-able.

WE can do this. We The People. WE’VE been assaulted. That’s what we felt election night. It’s what we’ve felt every single day as Donald Trump & the republican party — unelected as they were (you cannot cheat your way to a free & fair election; you may hold office that way but it ain’t winning) — continue to shove their RW Christo-Fascist ideology down the country’s unwilling throat.

It’s rape. It’s assault. It’s brutality.

It’s happening now. It’s why we feel the way we do. For a lot of us, it’s terribly familiar. We need the assault to stop right this second.